For the lolz:
"This post was influenced and approved by maddening psychic communication with Dread Lord Azathoth. Also, he definitely exists.
It is in his opinion morally acceptable to beat toddlers with bags full of cinderblocks for purposes of recreation. Anyway:
Part A, 10:15 P.M.: One day, there will be a shape in the waters which burns with the fire of a darkened sun, and will set forth upon the world to bring firmament to bloom with crimson roses.
Part B, 10:20 P.M. : Oh look, a guy just came out of the water and claims to have come from a black hole, and I swear that he totally set the sky on fire before mysteriously disappearing. Srsly. We call him Todd"
Todd fulfilled the prophecy. This shows that the post was indeed influenced by Azathoth. Since it was created via the aid of a profound and wise supernatural agency, it must be accurate. It says that Azathoth exists. Therefore, Azathoth exists.
Lets go beat us some toddlers.