Sunday, November 30, 2008

Hmmmm...needs more killing sprees...



Please tell me, after watching this: what was this commercial advertising? Yes, it was supposed to be an advertisement for something. Yes, I am as surprised as you are. And, yes, the father was trying to strangle his family with tentacles composed of disembodied hearts propelled telekinetically out of his body, serving as a host and receiving the symbiotic benefits of temporary serotonin boosts during the course of it (my interpretation).

[Spoilers here]

16 comments:

mac said...

WTF ???

Batteries?
What?

If we need more,
How does one go about getting more of God's love?

I know my ears heard that right..."we need more of God's love."
Should this ad not be directed at God?
And if so, is God this simplistic? Yet he is the ceator of everything????

The Maze Monster said...

Don't even get me started about dumb fucking commercials.

Oh and I was DONE the minute he said, "I came into my heart and into my mand."

And as for batteries... what the fuck! As a law student I must say that when I think of interstate batteries, I think of the crime of battery (harmful contact with another person) happening between people of two different states. WTF

Richelle said...

dude, i'm so glad you addressed this idiotic commercial.

i saw it earlier today and for a second i thought my head was going to explode. at first i was just like "what in the hell.. are those.. hearts!?' then i heard the crap about god's love and i was about to write it off as some cheese dick religious merry fucking christmas bullshit. but then there were the batteries and.. well... i dunno, it's just absolutely retarded.

Asylum Seeker said...

"Should this ad not be directed at God?"

It should be, except for the standard idea that God's love is churned out in bucketfuls and floods the planet with as much influence and visibility as God Himself (read: none). And all you have to do is open the floodgates in your heart, and you will have it inside of you! Which sounds like a bad pickup line, to be honest.

"when I think of interstate batteries, I think of the crime of battery ...happening between people of two different states."

That did not personally come to mind. Of course, now with the idea of battery referring to the criminal activity in my head, I am more inclined to imagine batteries occurring on an interstate highway, or a series of battereies that begin in one state and end in another (hell of a beating).

Asylum Seeker said...

""what in the hell.. are those.. hearts!?' then i heard the crap about god's love and i was about to write it off as some cheese dick religious merry fucking christmas bullshit. but then there were the batteries and.. well... i dunno"

I think you distilled the insanity pretty well there.

The Maze Monster said...

That standard for Muslim one is right here: http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/476/muslimil4.png

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

From a creative advertising perspective it might have been more effective to have the Energizer Bunny shocking the crap out of the heathens and then the lobotomized expressions would have been consistent with those seen after electroshock therapy. Just a thought for the remake.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

This kind of tripe reminds me of one of the real problems I have with religious mind control. Honestly, I'm more like Dennis Leary in this regard - I am defined more by my angst than by warm fuzzies.

Asylum Seeker said...

Thank you, MM. I did not know that that version existed! And, Pliny, I sympathize. When I see people forced into becoming smiling drones, and see that the process is being portrayed as a good thing, I come to realize just how different I am from other people, and that I am more defined by "angst" than any other emotion, or even job title or religious/political philosophy (with the latter almost entirely defined due to said "angst"). It is what separates us from the people who love smultz and living with mindless, unthinking joy regardless of how they obtain it. But, then I again, I am outright bitter, in addition to just being wary of happiness obtained through forfeiting control, and having a distaste for sappy, oversentimental garbage. I think that I will be joining the War on Christmas very soon, given that they were already dedicating a full day of radio time to Christmas crap this last weekend. It is going to be a long, long December...

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I added a picture to my site just to fit your seasonal mood seeker enjoy ;)

Jared said...

It's an advertisement for viral myocarditis!

mac said...

Maybe the director of this piece of shit has a heart on for god ?

This is a lot of pressure to put on a battery. It's like those bumper stickers that say " Jesus is my co-pilot."....and then you see the car broken down on the side of the road. I smile, assholeishly, and think, ' yeah, but he ain't much of a mechanic '

What if you get god's love in a battery and then your car doesn't start? Does that mean you're going to hell? Maybe you need more money to buy god's upgraded love? More cold-cranking Amps equals more love.

awww, I feel fuzzy now

Asylum Seeker said...

"It's like those bumper stickers that say " Jesus is my co-pilot."....and then you see the car broken down on the side of the road. I smile, assholeishly, and think, ' yeah, but he ain't much of a mechanic '"

Mean! :)

" added a picture to my site just to fit your seasonal mood seeker enjoy ;)"

Ahahahahaha. And it is full of awesome! Saved.

Asylum Seeker said...

"It's an advertisement for viral myocarditis!"

If anything needed an advertisment, it would be that. And they'd need a hell of a lot more than 30 seconds to sell it.

Mandar Malum said...

Why dose'nt God make his own commercial advertising his love? I guess there is no need when you've got people like this guy who can make it for him... I am sure that God has no background in advertising, so this is the best rout in getting his message across...

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