Sunday, January 4, 2009

Jack Chick is incapable of learning

Newsflash, huh?
Jack Chick, famous for rivaling the Phelps family in level of fundamentalism, and for churning out conversion-aimed comic book tracts for two decades, plus change, is now spewing forth another book from his website: Hot Topics. Surprisingly, it isn't just him ranting about the clothes store franchise of the same name. Nope, it's just him treading old territory in the great wide world of crazy.

Tackling 6 of the hottest issues of our time

Over the years, Jack Chick has written some stories that were so hot, that touched such “politically incorrect” issues, that often people were afraid to pass them out on the streets
Jack Chick: proud to have authored comics that were too embarassing to use for proselytizing to people.
But what makes this book unique is what is added. The book contains interviews with Jack Chick and David Daniels, in which the reader will learn the facts behind the writing of these stories. There are facts and statistics that will absolutely astound the reader.
I am sure that those statistics will be amazing. But, seriously, this book is just old tracts, stats, and interviews? I hope that you were at least drunk during the interviews or something, or that you will recount the tale about how you were inspired to write the tract after punching Satan himself in the throat. Because otherwise I am just plain underwhelmed.
This book also contains one new story that is not being released in tract form: HOME ALONE. It is an emotional message against homosexuality and child abuse.
Ugggh. You're a real son of a bitch, Jack. This ground has already been covered by others.
show the shocking plans of the homosexual activists who are determined to have your children.
At this point, you would swear that you were on Landover Baptist. But no. He actually believes this stuff!
The chart showing the current age of consent in many major nations is proof that these people are making real progress to get our children, and will stop at nothing.
That....that doesn't even make sense! The age of consent is something that is relevant to heterosexuals too, and the age of consent in other nations (still well into the teens for those outside the 3rd world countries) hardly has anything to do with them trying to "get our children" here.
The real purpose of “hate crime” laws
With example after example, you will see how “hate crime” laws are being used to silence Christians.
Maybe you should try to stop talking with your fists. "Hate crimes" are crimes directed against a minority because of the fact that they are a minority, and serves to intimidate that group as well as harming the individual involved. It isn't a "hate crime" without fulfilling the "crime" part first. If you are talking about "hate speech", it shouldn't be illegal unless you are inciting violence. Otherwise, you have a legitimate gripe that could be made without crying about unfair application of the law, since it is unconstitutional regardless of whether or not there are double standards.
What about when non-Christians are hateful against Christians? The police look the other way.
Poor, persecuted 85% of the American population. We cry for you.
They’re gay – and they want your kids!
The gay rights movement says they want “tolerance.” But you will be shocked as you see how their public relations campaign has resulted in lowering of the age of sexual consent in many countries, so that they can legally go after children!
There is a false correlation in there somewhere. But I just can't spot where....
Leaders tell us that Christians and Muslims worship the same God. Do you know how to answer them? The section about “The little Bedouin idol who would be God” gives you specific quotations out of the Qur’an in which it clearly shows that Allah is not God.
Quotations that show that the God of the Qur'an is of a different character than that of the Bible? Try comparing the actions of the God of the New Testament and the Old Testament. Hell, try comparing the God of individual books within the Old Testament to one another. I'm sure that you could similarly prove that they are not the same deity. That is to say: the contradictions are either minimal in some cases, or able to be handwaved away by interpretation, which you can decide to do depending on what conclusion you wish to reach.
See the proof from U.S. Senate hearings that shows that adult pornography goes hand in hand with child sexual abuse (pedophilia).
Ooooo, the Senate! Why exactly is proof coming from them? I thought they were legislators, not social scientists. I think this is another "correlation is not equal to causation", "cart before the horse", "everybody watches porn, and pedophiles are a subset of everybody" type thing.
Jack Chick is not afraid to say it . . . “Pornography triggers sexual perversion.”
Or those with sexual perversion have an increased tendency to be obsessed with porn. Either or. When your definition of "sexual perversion" is "desire to have sex in non-missionary positions", then it becomes harder to pinpoint the problem. [Note: That is not Chick's actual definition of sexual perversion, but it pretty much sums up all of the things that would qualify for his "naughty list". Tee hee].
Is D&D a doorway to the occult?
Oooooo! My favorite! After all these years, he still hasn't given up on this one!
To answer the question: no. Is it reflective of a casual interest in the things that you label "occult"? Yes. Is that important to anyone but you guys? Doesn't seem to be.
They claim it is harmless. Read the interview with former witch Bill Schnoebelen, as he tells how playing the game led young people to seek out Schnoebelen and his wife, real witches, to learn how to make their magical spells “authentic” in the game.
Wow. An anecdote from a guy who claims that he was a major member of like 7 different pagan groups that practiced real magic. And I think one of those groups was the Stonemasons. Consider me convinced!
Israel: friend or liability?
More and more American leaders are beginning to push for Israel to give up its land. They feel that America will have better access to Arab oil if they take the side of the Palestinians. But God calls this “My land.”
Who are these leaders pushing for giving up on Israel, and why have I never heard of them? And, you've got to love religion-guided politics! And, by "love", I mean "frightened to the very core by".


Pliny-the-in-Between said...

My pick for the most likely next big religion is absent from your list - WDWF - the World Deity Wrestling Federation. Worshipers get to cheer on their favorite deity (and earn cash) as they compete from week to week in WDWF sanctioned competition.

Asylum Seeker said...

Heh. "My God is Better Than Your God", in sporting format. My bet is on Buddha. He is both a pacifist, and not technically a god, so he is a fantastic underdog and will win me so much cash if he wins! Cthulhu would be a contender though, but I don't like to bet on the ones that always make the quarterfinals, because he it just feels like cheating.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Buddha would also have the advantage that he could comeback even more times than Rocky Balboa

Asylum Seeker said...

That's true. Forgot all about that. Ace up his sleeve. Though it would be rather annoying if he had to go up against Jesus. It'd just be a bunch of slapping, and an immediate reincarnation / ressurrection every time one of them actually managed to down the other one. It would go on forever. Have to make it a cage match with Thor and Kali in as well to make it interesting at least.

pboyfloyd said...

Don't know if I'm biased towards Thor on account of he is white-like-me or that cool hammer.

"It's hammer-time!"

Asylum Seeker said...

Thor: The white MC Hammer.
Speaking of celebrities who are almost entirely only mentioned in the context of jokes, I wonder if we should find someone new to make Chuck Norris jokes about, since the real Chuck writes for World Nut Daily. Hardly a creature worth revering now. Perhaps MC Hammer should fill the void of pseudocelebrity turned superhuman.
And then he could go up against Thor in the WDWF and make the universe implode.

What was I talking about?

mac said...

Thor wins !
No doubt about it.

Asylum Seeker said...

Oh come on! No love for Loki, Odin, Zeus, Poseidon, Ra, or Osiris? Hell, Anubis can throw down on a good day, even if the Grim Reaper is a little more intimidating (though not technically a deity). Ahura Mazda is often a cult favorite, since being from a monotheistic religion really increases your fantastical abilities a few notches. Shiva can lay a serious smack down too, being the destroyer and all. But, I think an excellent chance for top spot is a little three-headed Trinity god called Triglav. Being a three god fusion, and getting three heads out if it in the process (instead of being a giant bearded man, a cloud, and a smaller bearded man in alternation) equals victory in my book.

GearHedEd said...

This would probably be hilarious if I knew who Jack Chick was...