Wednesday, August 27, 2008

In Memoriam: The Week of May 12- August 25 (What? Busy Summer)

Insanity of the Day: When ironic punishment goes wrong, an angel cries. Mostly due to Jesus throwing a hissy fit and beating them out of frustration.

Blog Description: Where the End of Days is always just beyond tomorrow.

Wisdom from the Bowels of the Abyss: "Give a woman a fish, and you feed her for a day (and she is obliged to have sex with you in return). Teach a woman to fish, and you have just encouraged her to abandon her family, and her duties as a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, in order to fulfill her own selfish desires for self-worth and satiation of hunger. This horrible blunder, if repeated, leads to the degradation of the family, and the fall of society as we know it. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with you?"-Jesus, shortly after joining the Republican party.

Poll: Do you think that intelligent design should be taught in schools?
No. 0 (0%) Definitely no. 0 (0%) Absolutely not! 1 (100%) Maybe, but only if the students are in a coma. 0 (0%)

About Me: I am an emaciated hobo chained in a sick serial killer's basement with nothing more than a toothpick, a Nintendo Wii, and Wi-fi access to provide for my escape. I must relay my message to the outside world and get someone to come save me, without ever giving away the exact location of his imprisonment. If I fail to obey the rules of the game, by giving out identifying details of either myself or my captor, my head will be crushed in by an ornamental mace, and my corpse will be violated repeatedly before the police arrive on the scene.
Please, please, someone find me! I have left hints regarding my whereabouts in a total of two-dozen 500 character documents of an unintelligible gibberish. Someone, please rescue me. The meals here are subpar, the floor is too hard to sleep on, and I can't keep playing Wii Sports forever!
Location: London, South Jersey Shore, Egypt.

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